The shocker of today, some guy who is not even 30, had a kid years back and now is going through a divorce. Wow~ What a life. So what have I been doing all these years? I paused for almost a minute, and I had nothing.

Couldn’t commit, so I decided to throw in the towel. The state of actually being in love is non-negotiable here, I believe. But on the other hand, one should probably get to know themselves well enough before ever considering entering another relationship and ruining  other people’s lives, which is exactly I am trying to do right now, figuring my likes and dislikes, just for me. Leveling up the desired skill adequacy in different environments, so that I finally stop feeling like a fraud because I would know things inside and out. Have to admit, sometimes things can take up to years before they finally start to click in your head. Say when you were 17 and you started study economics, some of the stuff or well perhaps most of it just did not leave any imprint in your mind at first. Little did you know that it would have years before all that mumble jumble became an inherent part of you. So one day when you woke up, things just started to make sense in a broader context. You would start to think for yourself, after all these years of studying, restudying of the entry, intermediate and advanced levels of the same exact discipline. Well, I wonder if that is the “fake-it-till-you-make-it” process. Might very well be it. I have never thought I would say this, but suddenly over the fast few days or so, swaps started to make a lot more sense to me even then it did before. Insane, but I like it. As soon as you started building things on your own, all the tiny quirks of the things you were really familiar with started to become even more prominent. You cannot truly understand something but just reading the gist of it. You gotta tear it down and build it back up again all on your own.

I have yet again passed the point of no return at this hour at night. Beyond the age of compromising myself for things or people.

Girls who are individually beautiful,  collectively mind-blowing (funny phrase, also, an actual depiction of the cheerleader effect).